Feelin' the Drain

from 19 Demos by Rowan Lewis

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lyrics

It never really goes away
That feeling, of not being able to breathe
It’s not necessarily
A bad thing

In fact I think that it’s survival
That worry, eating away at my throat
At the thought of something working out

What if you don’t want to?
What if people see?
It’s not that I don’t like you
It’s more that I don’t like me

But sweetheart

You drive me
So pop the hood
Inside this is sweet and it’s deep and it’s good
Please reassure me
I’m feeling the drain
Something so much that it’s hard for my heart to contain

It’s like, god, it sounds so stupid
You’re worried, that someone you love’s gonna freak
And you know they wouldn’t do that
But you question

And the simple things stick out
Bumping elbows makes you feel so alive
It’s morbid but you wonder if you’ve been
Dead all along until now

What if the world tells me
That what I’m doing’s not allowed?
I’m trying to bare my soul
But I don’t feel very proud

Oh, sweetheart

You drive me
So pop the hood
Inside this has power and it’s strong and it’s good
Please reassure me
I’m feeling the drain
Something so much that it’s hard for my heart to contain

I’m tearing up
My bones feel tight
I’m so alive
But not alright
The endpoint’s so far out of sight

I’m tripping up
And making strides
Whilst clutching at my splitting sides
The best part claws its way to light

You steer me
Towards relief
Inside I’m consumed by a personal grief
Please reassure me
I don’t know what to say
Tell me it’s fine
If I think that I’m gay

And if the world thinks worse now
Then that’s on the world, not me
‘Cos if holding a hand makes you mighty and free
Then that has to be allowed
Because it’s me who should allow it
It’s like air, it’s like air, sweetheart, I can’t live without it

You drive me
So pop the hood
Inside this has power and it’s strong and it’s good
Please reassure me
I’m feeling the drain
Something so much that it’s hard for my heart to contain

credits

from 19 Demos, released April 22, 2020

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Rowan Lewis UK

I'm a 20-something songwriter from the UK. These are the things I record in my living room.

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