Save Your Breath

by Rowan Lewis

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released February 1, 2016

Beautiful album art by Jackie Reynolds (phantom-tastic.tumblr.com).
Thanks to DN and SF for pouring over more demos and WIPs than I care to count, and to SGL for appreciating/supporting what I create.

For Daniel.

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about

Rowan Lewis UK

I'm Rowan, aged 20, and a student from the UK.
I specialise in clumsy rhythm and strange analogies.

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Track Name: With My Skin And Thoughts
You paint a little world, in the small of my back
With your whispers and your fingertips
And I rinse it off with the greatest care I can
And add to this universe.

From nowhere, in the static tear stained joy,
I feel your ghostly arms

There’s not much of me to give ‘cept breath
But you can take whatever’s left
Not enough, not enough, not enough, I fear
Oh, I trust you with my skin and thoughts
They’re yours, they’re yours, they’re yours, oh
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, I’m here

Lend me a dream of songs which will never exist
‘Cos I dreamt they were penned by someone else
Awaken and know a tune, which I didn’t before
And feel like I’m emerging from a sea

But this torrent is deep within my very being, and my ribs are a dam
Brittle bone is threatening to burst-

There’s not much of me to give ‘cept breath
But you can take whatever’s left
Not enough, not enough, not enough, I fear
Oh, I trust you with my skin and thoughts
They’re yours, they’re yours, they’re yours, oh
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, I’m here

From somewhere in the depths of my outer space
You are a solar flare.

There’s not much of me to give ‘cept bone
You’ll keep it white and call me home
I am sure, I am sure, I am sure of this
Outer space and oceans couldn’t hold
This manic heart and ragged soul
You can board with it all, as we coexist-

There’s not much of me to give ‘cept breath
But you can take whatever’s left
Just enough, just enough, just enough, it’s clear
Oh, I trust you with my skin and thoughts
They’re yours, they’re yours, they’re yours, they’re yours
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, I’m here.

(Not enough)
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, I’m here
(Hurry up)
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, I’m here.
Track Name: Velella Velella
I have frightened myself into the corners
And let the demons in
I have loosed the worst of imagination’s
creatures on my skin

It is easy to stop up a stream
But it will become a flood
I can write my way to solace, but
ink’s harder to wash off your hands than blood

I’m not falling
That’s not how it feels
I am crashing
Repeatedly

Rocking slowly by the wall for comfort
No-one gets the hint
Every single nerve in my body crawls
Never learned to sprint

And the plaster caves and the primary waves
of horror hit me hard
The door rocks thrice and splinters
but there’s barely anything left to guard

I’m not drifting
The water’s too harsh
I’m not swimming
I won’t last

Lost my colony of help
And healthy hive mentality health
Beached and stranded, roads departed
Tides made me an easy target.

I have frightened myself into the corners
And let the demons in
I have loosed the worst of imagination’s
creatures on my skin

I have ducked and rolled from out of control times
and places striking back
I am safest in a crowd, it seems
But it feels more like a pack

Oh, I’m not drifting
I am struggling for air
Rocking back and forth
It’s not fair.

I’m not falling
That’s not how it feels
I am crashing
Repeatedly.
Track Name: A Mansion Which Waxes And Wanes
J’ai oublié les paroles
et il me semble que tout fou ou folle le ferait.
Suis-je fou? Suis-je sensé?
J’ai trouvé pour moi une amnésie dorée.

This crescent moon, a consistent view
Of the lovers beneath through history and new
And I am a lover, of your lunar mouth
And I’m going to be the new on which it smiles down.

And I am a deserted estate, where the ghosts begin
to gather beneath the skylight which lets this astral shine in
Oh, I am a tiny room, lit by a tiny flame
A cupboard can be a ballroom in the mansion which waxes and wanes.

C’est un cauchemar, but we’ve (for)gotten this far
Found the keys to each other and fumbled in the dark
But the future lovers, can find a new way to see
The moon is your gift to me.

And I am a deserted estate, where the ghosts begin
to gather beneath the skylight which lets this astral shine in
Oh, I am a tiny room, lit by a tiny flame
A cupboard can be a ballroom in the mansion which waxes and wanes.

These little words, they’ve slipped my mind
Any troubled soul would deem them hard to find
So am I troubled? Or okay so far
With my newfound type of golden amnesia.
Track Name: The Devil's Mouth
You kept us all from staying with what we'd got
Not that much, but to us it was a lot.
Blood and bullets, bare hands and battered blades
One chance left for you to be unmade

In my hands, I hold the sharpened key
Life or pride, what's it gonna be?
Leave the world, as a man who never was
But a monster, clutching desperately to his claws

My last fight
Is real in my hands this time

The jaws of the devil's mouth are wide
And there's one tiny jewel of hope inside
Give him one last chance, and if he backs out
I'll cut it right out of his roaring mouth
Medicine giving me all I need
In a burst of colour and a burning bleed
And we both wanted to accomplish what we must
Falling down in the dust, it's the last of us.

In your eyes, I saw the living lost
Traitorous love, she'd been double crossed.
Betraying knight, we'd believed
But survival wasn't a unified path I see

My last fight
Is real in my hands this time

The jaws of the devil's mouth are wide
And there's one tiny jewel of hope inside
Give him one last chance, and if he backs out
I'll cut it right out of his roaring mouth
Medicine giving me all I need
In a burst of colour and a burning bleed
And we both wanted to accomplish what we must
Falling down in the dust, it's the last of us.

The jaws of the devil's mouth are wide
And there's one tiny jewel of hope inside
Give him one last chance, and if he backs out
I'll cut it right out of his roaring mouth
Medicine giving me all I need
In a burst of colour and a burning bleed
And we both wanted to accomplish what we must
Falling down in the dust, it's the last of us.

A circus mirror, what I could have been
Is a thankful avoidance, but a messy scene
I'm up to my elbows in scarlet prose
It's a story of freedom, you were right, I suppose

Medicine giving me all I need
In a burst of colour and a burning bleed
And we both wanted to accomplish what we must
Falling down in the dust, it's the last of us.
Track Name: You Were Mine
I had a close friend once, but he left that place
I can still see ugly sunlight on the pretty side of his face
The air is thin with destruction with what we try to restore
And the day breaks through the clouds, like a torch through the crack in the door

I had a close friend once, and I didn't mean
To get so thickly choked up with grief
Can't erase the way in which he left me
But the good memories return occasionally

Yeah, everyone needs a partner in hell
And you were mine.

Got your wings of freedom before you could fly
Unafraid of failing, more prepared than I
Sharp and soft, lifting off, only we could see
Oh, you were the strongest side of me.

Yeah, everyone needs that kind of optimist,
And you were mine.

I wish I'd held you, whilst I had the chance
All I have now are your bare bones in my grasp
I'll carry through, even without you, horrors soldiers see
Maybe your missing side will reassure me in my sleep.

Yeah, everyone needs a reason to fight--
and you were mine.
Track Name: The Cusp
The only purpose
I have needed
in this stasis
Is to start breathing

Not yet fully
A human being
From the evidence I’m seeing

Give me something to work with, oh
Give me something to work with, oh
All this sacrifice gets me low
Get me to where I need to go.

Shake the bottle
Seal the contents
Hope it won’t settle
On the bottom

There’s a message
There’s an intent
It’s a chance
Or at least a fragment

Give me something to work with, oh
Give me something to work with, oh
All this sacrifice gets me low
Get me to where I need to go.

I have dropped an anchor
I have drained my blood
and then cruised upon this reservoir
yet never bled enough
I have contributed
tears and sweat and love
And I’m nearly living
Oh, I’m on the cusp

Someone tell me
When I’m born
Someday soon I’m going to form

As an idea
As a tale
Someday soon I will exhale.

Give me something to work with, oh
Give me something to work with, oh
All this sacrifice gets me low
Get me to where I need to go.

I have dropped an anchor
I have drained my blood
and then cruised upon this reservoir
yet never bled enough
I have contributed
tears and sweat and love
And I’m nearly living
Oh, I’m on the cusp

And I’m nearly living
Oh, I’m on the cusp

Yeah, I’m nearly living
Oh, I’m on the cusp.
Track Name: Shed These Days
This is the sound of a place
Shouting over us
This is my will of steel slowly but surely beginning to rust.

This is my pulse, through the roof
I can’t stand my ground
This is for someone who said they’d be here but is never around.

This is a smile, full of fangs
Too scared to tear you in two
This is a fear of precisely just what my fury could do.

Cover them up, with parched lips
Save your breath
You are sure to be rapidly gasping one moment to next.

But I believe, I believe, I believe
Faith slips straight through my fingers like water but I still believe.

This is the skin of a snake
That shed these days long ago
And I share the same scales on my skin which I still have yet to let go.

And this is me
With no faith, no magic, no straightforward way to get free

But I believe, I believe, I believe
Faith slips straight through my fingers like water but I still believe.

I believe, I believe, I believe
Faith slips straight through my fingers like water but I still believe.
Track Name: The Skill Of Coagulation
I’m in credit for a lot of talking
It’s all gonna come out someday
I’m losing sleep over sleeplessness
I’m speechless over everything I say

The cat that’s got my tongue is a sabretooth
And I feel sick.

Not a medicine in the pharmacy
There’s not a remedy to reveal
Not a single scrap of anatomical knowledge
That could ever help me heal

Mutely seeking out someone to answer for
The marks at fourteen.
Oh, flooded fourteen.

‘Cos there’s a whole lot of damage and casualties unaccounted for
There’s a clog from the skill of coagulation you taught her
There’s violent turbulence stagnating beneath the surface
And you’ve disturbed the water

Promise myself I won’t pour my heart out
Drain it dry within a fortnight, yeah.
Trembling worry of oversharing
Speaking out of turn, running out of air

Waiting for the second hand to hit 12 again.

‘Cos there’s a whole lot of damage and casualties unaccounted for
There’s a clog from the skill of coagulation you taught her
There’s violent turbulence stagnating beneath the surface
And you’ve disturbed the water

There’s blood thickening in the veins of every absconder
And speech turning solid between every son and daughter
Non-categorised are left wordless to wonder
Who disturbed the water

Time heals wounds, but not terminal illness
I feel worse every single day
And if someone asked “well, what’s the problem?”
I wouldn’t have a single thing to say.

Hoping the second hand’s gonna hit 12 again

‘Cos there’s a whole lot of damage and casualties unaccounted for
There’s a clog from the skill of coagulation you taught her
There’s violent turbulence stagnating beneath the surface
And you’ve disturbed the water

There’s blood thickening in the veins of every absconder
And speech turning solid between every son and daughter
Non-categorised are left wordless to wonder
Who disturbed the water

You put pressure on a slash and tried to pass on the info
There’s a clog from the skill of coagulation you taught her
Drag her up, drag her up, drag her up from beneath the surface
Disturb the water.